Goodbye morning sickness??

I really hope I'm not speaking too soon but after 7 weeks of being really sick with morning sickness that lasted all day, I think it may be easing up! Thank the Lord!  I only threw up once Thursday and not at all Friday!  Today, hasn't been quite as event free.  I got sick shortly after lunch and I've been really nauseated all day long with a pretty bad headache on top of it.  I've taken Tylenol and tried cold packs and naps but it's still there.  My pregnancy book says to expect more headaches this trimester so I guess it's nothing unusual.  Still, it's a huge improvement from throwing up 4-5 times a day so I'll take it! :)

We had another OB appointment Thursday.  We didn't end up hearing the baby's heartbeat yet but we knew it was still early for that so we weren't too disappointed.  We were pleasantly surprised though when she said she was going to do another quick ultrasound to take a look at the baby.  It was a small portable machine this time and it didn't print so we don't have new pictures but we got to see the baby very clearly on the screen.  I could definitely tell the baby has grown and it's little spine was more defined.  It was sleeping at first, positioned on it's side again like last time.  Then, it kicked it's little leg out and flipped over on it's back!!  It was so awesome!  This was our first time seeing a profile view and it was so cute!  Once it was on it's back, it kept moving it's little arms and legs after that and our doctor said it was dancing for us.  I can't tell you how happy and excited we were!  Lewis is the sweetest father-to-be and has been so interested in every detail about our baby's development.  I think seeing it moving around made it as real for him as it did for me when I saw it the first time.  Nothing I've ever seen or experienced compares.  Everyone keeps telling us that this is really only the beginning and I know that's true.  We are on cloud 9 and so excited for all the amazing things to come!!!

HELLO, 2ND TRIMESTER!!!

We reached a huge milestone this week and reached the end of the first trimester!!!  I am still puking a few times a day but just knowing that the risk of miscarriage is now less than 1% makes me feel like dancing!  (Of course, I tried a little dancing at school yesterday and ended up losing my lunch so that's maybe not such a great idea! Ha!) 

This morning, noon, and night sickness is no joke.  The last few weeks have been pretty brutal.  I've been told by lots of people that it should start easing up now and even my doctor said it will hopefully get better in a week or two.  Of course, I've also heard all the lovely stories of ladies who are sick the entire pregnancy so, who knows?  As long as that little baby is healthy, I can handle it.  In fact, I'm actually getting good at puking if that's possible.  I know it can hit me at any time so I've learned to be prepared.  I've only thrown up on myself a couple of times - the worst of which was driving home from a work party.  Driving home the last few miles covered in my own vomit was as gross as it sounds.  Needless to say, I now carry a vessel dedicated to that purpose with me at all times.  The good news is that I'm off for the summer and I have the next 8 weeks where I don't have to get up at 5:30 as sick as can be and try to get showered and dressed.  That's a huge blessing.  I think nice, liesurely mornings may be just what I need because I stayed in bed until 9 today and then took it easy on the couch after breakfast and it's almost 3 pm and I haven't thrown up yet.  Not bad!  We're going on a date tonight, dinner and a movie.  I have a huge craving for a Ted's bison burger so Lew is taking me there.  It's the first real food I've wanted in a while so I hope I keep it down -  at least through the movie!   

Want to see why I'm so okay with all this puking?  Take a look at the pics of our ultrasound from May 12th!  Notice the sweet little hands and feet and our baby's beautiful face turned towards you.  The first picture shows it touching it's face.  Pretty awesome, right???  And the best part was I got to see it moving around like crazy!  It literally took my breath away when I saw that and I cried like a baby.  I only wish Lewis could have been there with me so that he could have seen it. :(  Of course, our next ultrasound will show even more development and more movement and he'll be there then.  We actually go back to the doctor this Thursday and should be able to hear the heartbeat for the first time.  We feel so blessed to be experiencing this and I start to cry every time I stop and think about it.  Thank you God for this amazing gift!!

Best Anniversary EVER!

So, we had the absolute best anniversary on Friday and probably the happiest, most carefree day we've had in a long time.  I am so incredibly blessed to be sharing my life with such an amazing man!  He is so good to me, better than I deserve at times.  He is the most unselfish and giving person I know and he is going to be an amazing father!  We have loved one another for 9 years and been married for 5 - I can honestly say that each year gets better than the one before.  I love being by his side and I can't wait for us to be a family!!   

Part of the reason we were so carefree and happy Friday was that our doctor's visit was GREAT!  Our baby is still thriving and we saw it very clearly this time!!!  It was five times bigger on Friday than it was just two weeks before!  It still looks like a little alien but we can tell it's just starting to resemble a baby now. :) The heart rate was right on target (167 bpm) and everything else measured exactly 8 weeks so we are right where we're supposed to be. :) 

I can't tell you how much better I feel seeing that little heart beating away again and having the doctor tell me everything is okay.  I still have this nagging voice inside telling me that something can still go wrong but I'm trying hard to ignore it and I really am worrying a lot less now than I have been.  I'm finally starting to feel that it's okay to let myself really believe this is happening and to finally get really excited.  We've been talking about names and nursery ideas and the more we do that, the more it feels real.  I'm still as sick as can be with nausea and throwing up and as weird as it sounds, it really has helped me feel more secure with things because I actually feel pregnant.  Not that I will complain when it eases up!  It's definitely not a pleasant way to feel day and night but it is oh so worth it!

We are hoping to go home next weekend and if not then, we'll see family the next weekend for my cousin's wedding.  We plan on sharing the news with my little niece Eve when we see her in person.  She is 6 years old and has been dying for me to have a baby so she will be super excited.  We are really looking forward to telling her and seeing her reaction!  I'll be just a couple of weeks away from being out of the first trimester at that point and even though we won't be totally out of the woods, it just feels right to include her.  Most of our families and close friends know now and just a few close coworkers.  We'll be ready to share with others after we've been able to see Eve in person and tell her.  We're pretty sure she'll spread the news for us in Greensboro anyway!

"Morning" Sickness and a Sad Goodbye

Silly me, I thought maybe I would be one of the lucky ones and get by without experiencing real morning sickness.  After all, my mom says she never had it with either of us.  And, even as late as the end of last week I was still just feeling really nauseous but not throwing up.  Well, this week it's been a different story.  And it's not just in the morning - it hits me off and on day and night.  People keep telling me it's a good sign so I'm definitely not complaining.  In fact, I take comfort in the feeling just praying it means that all is well with our little jelly bean. :)  We go this Friday for another ultrasound so they will make sure everything is still moving along according to schedule.  We can't wait!!!  I will be 8 weeks and our baby should be the size of  a grape - simply amazing that it has grown so much in just 2 weeks!  I'm feeling pretty good about everything, better every day, but hearing them say that the baby is measuring 8 weeks and everything still looks good will be a huge relief!  And to make the day even more special, we'll be celebrating our 5th Anniversary on Friday!!! We can't think of anything in the world that could compare to that as an annivesary gift. :)       

With all the baby excitement, we have also been dealing with the very sad loss of our sweet little dog, Macy.  I got her as a puppy 13 years ago back when I was a single, carefree college student.  She was my best friend and constant companion for my whole adult life.  Lewis and I met 9 years ago and she and I came as a package deal.  He grew to love her just as much as I did and we are both just heartbroken.  We know she had a long, happy life but our house feels so empty without her sweet little presence.  She loved us with all her heart and we were her whole little world.  She gave us so much joy and kept us laughing all the time.  I am so, so grateful that she passed away on her own and that it was on a Saturday when we could be with her.  We tried to get her to the vet but her little heart gave out on the way.  I was sitting in the backseat with her, petting her and telling her how much I loved her and she was looking up at me with her soft brown eyes when she took her last breath.  As hard as it was, I wouldn't trade that for anything. I am so grateful that I have the baby to focus on now and I think that's why God chose this timing to take her.  As empty and quiet as our house feels now, it won't for long. :)

Goodbye, our sweet little friend.  You were such a blessing in our lives.  Thank you for all the love and memories you gave us.  We miss you.

ANSWERED PRAYERS!!!

It's official, WE ARE PREGNANT!!! Our due date is December 3rd and we are just over the moon and feeling so very blessed! Once again, God has shown us that he's in control and that there are no limits to what he can work in our lives when we have faith! I must say about a hundred prayers of thanks every day and for every one, I also say a prayer of his protection over our little baby. :)

We've actually known since March 23rd that our IUI worked when we got a + home pregnancy test. It was confirmed at the doctor a few days later and they've been watching me very closely since. So far, everything has gone perfectly! My progesterone has been very high on its own and I haven't had to take anything to sustain the pregnancy because my body seems to be taking care of everything. :)

I am actually 6 weeks 1 day today. :) We've been a little cautious in telling too many people because we were just so worried about the chance of miscarrying again. But, then yesterday we went in for our first ultrasound and saw our little sweet pea for the first time with a very strong heart just beating away! It was the most amazing thing either of us has ever seen! How can we keep something so wonderful quiet??? We go back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound to make sure the baby is growing appropriately. If all is well then, the specialists will release me to my regular OB/GYN. I will probably have my first OB appointment when we are about 10 weeks.

As for how I'm feeling, I couldn't be better! I've been very tired and taking naps almost daily for the past week but I haven't had morning sickness at all yet. My doctor told me yesterday that the next couple of weeks are generally when it starts for most people so we'll see. The only other symptom I've had is really sore boobies - and they have already grown a little! Uh-oh! I'm a little scared!!

One of the best parts of this is seeing how excited our parents are. My parents were actually here visiting this week and stayed in town until we got home from our appointment yesterday so they could hear how it went. They were so sweet and both cried when they saw the pictures of the ultrasound. We understood completely because we both cried when we first saw it too! And this will be Lewis's parents' first grandchild so they are overjoyed! They are both so cute and ask about a million questions. I can't believe this is all really happening! Seeing that little heart flickering yesterday sure made it feel more real but it's still just amazing to me that our baby is growing - and thriving - inside me right now! :) We are still nervous because we are not out of the woods yet but we have chosen to focus on today and let God take care of tomorrow. He's already blessed us beyond belief and we know the best is yet to come!

Thank you all for your prayers and support throughout this process. People all over have supported us through prayer - everyone from family and friends to coworkers and friends of friends and even some sweet ladies I've met on message boards! We know without a doubt that prayer has played a huge role in making this happen. We can never thank you enough! Please keep praying for our little baby! We'll keep you updated!!!

Pictures of our sweet little pea:

So excited!

So much has happened since the last time I posted!  We had our first IUI yesterday!!!  We are cautiously optimistic since we know it can take a few attempts to get the timing right but I can't tell you how good it feels to get started!!!  The IUI itself was very quick and painless.  I am so happy Lewis got to be in there with me because it was a big moment for the two of us.  I wasn't sure how they would do that - if they would have him wait while they got me ready or if he could go on back with me.  When I asked the nurse, she said, "Well, you don't want to get pregnant without him do you?"  It made me laugh because she was so right!  Maybe we never imagined that we would need to conceive our babies in a cold sterile setting like that, but it was actually very sweet.  Lewis held my hand the whole time and even got a little choked up and had to hold back tears.  He said he started picturing what it will be like when he holds my hand when we see our little baby's heartbeat for the first time and when he's there with me during labor and delivery.  We felt so connected to one another.  It was a moment I hope I never forget. :)

Now, the waiting begins.  I go back in this Friday for another progesterone test to see if I still need to take the supplements.  I took my first round of Clomid this month and she said that sometimes, Clomid helps regulate your progesterone so there's a chance it will be normal this time.  The Clomid also hopefully helped me produce some good, strong eggs this month.  At my midcycle ultrasound, I had 3 good size follicles so hopefully, one of those produced a nice healthy egg and we timed the IUI right to "catch it"!  We won't know if it worked until the following Friday, March 26th.  I go in then for a blood pregnancy test.  I'm going to try my best to relax as much as possible over the next 2 weeks.  To help with that, I'm going to be staying off the fertility message boards and I'm going to try really hard not to over-think or over-analyze anything.  We are prepared to do this at least 3 times if necessary but we are praying we won't need to.  God has always been so good to us and I know this is in his hands.  This process is a real lesson is patience.  There is so much waiting involved and you really have to turn things over to your doctors and ultimately to God.  I know he has a great plan for us and part of that plan is for us to be parents.  We just have to know that it will happen in his timing and trust that.

The really great news is that none of the fertility tests they did on us showed anything major wrong for either of us. :)  Lewis's last SA was great- very high count and motility!  His morphology was a the lower end of normal but the doctors aren't concerned about that since they said his high numbers in other categories should make up for it.  The HSG showed that my uterus and fallopian tubes were normal and open so that was good.  The only test that revealed anything a little abnormal for me was the day 3 ultrasound (also called a baseline ultrasound) to check for antral follicles.  My left one looked okay but it looks like my right ovary may be a little polycystic, meaning it produces too many follicles every month which can cause that ovary not to produce the best eggs.  The condition is called PCOS and it can cause all sorts of other health problems.  Luckily, it appears that my case is very mild and other than gaining weight easily, I don't have any of the other symptoms.  The biggest thing is that I still ovulate on my own every month, some people with PCOS do not ovulate at all and have to take medications to force ovulation.  They said the fact that I ovulate on my own means my case should be highly treatable.  They immediately started me on a medication to help treat it and I will continue to take it every day until I get pregnant and maybe even beyond that.  I also have to cut way back on carbs since PCOS can lead to insulin resistance and I definitely want to prevent that if I can.  A great side effect of the medicine and the low carb diet is that I've already lost a little weight.  :)

Our families are so excited and they keep saying they just know this is going to be it for us.  We are both much more reserved because we want to be realistic in case we need to try more than once.  Even so, deep down, we are just so full of hope because this definitely feels like we're on the right track.  It's going to be a long two weeks! 

A tiny piece of the puzzle and now, more tests!

So, after more bloodwork last week, they finally found something...  My progesterone test came back a little low.  Not low enough to account for all of our trouble getting pregnant but it could be making it a little harder for fertilized eggs to implant and it could have also been a contributing factor to our miscarriage.  From what they said, having enough progesterone is very important for implantation and sustaining pregnancy because it thickens the lining of your uterus.  If the lining is too thin, implantation either doesn't happen or it doesn't happen correctly.  They had me start taking supplements immediately - that was Sunday - and I will take them the last two weeks of every cycle unless I get pregnant and then I'll probably take them the entire first trimester.  The supplements may not fix our problem for us but they do think it is an important element in creating the best possible environment for getting pregnant and staying pregnant.  As you can imagine, we are very excited that they found this - especially now, before we get pregnant again.  Now, the next step is for me to go in to have my Day 3 bloodowork and ultrasound done and I will probably do that this Thursday.  :)

Another exciting thing to mention is that Lewis saw a new urologist last week and he thinks that there is absolutely nothing for us to worry about as far as Lewis's fertility is concerned!!!  Soooo, that means we don't have to worry about those little antibodies after all.  Woohoo!  This doesn't mean we won't still need to try IUI to conceive - it just means that we have one less thing working against us.  :)  Even though the doctor saw no problem at all with the little swimmers, he did order a couple of new tests to see if they can pinpoint what else may be going on.  One of those is a CT scan Thursday morning to make sure there is no hernia or anything else physiological causing his pain.  So, once again, we'll be bonding over doctor's appointments on Thursday.  The story of our lives lately!  I'm definitely not complaining since I know that every test we have done just gets us one step closer to our goal of having a sweet little baby and what could be more worth it?!