Best Anniversary EVER!

So, we had the absolute best anniversary on Friday and probably the happiest, most carefree day we've had in a long time.  I am so incredibly blessed to be sharing my life with such an amazing man!  He is so good to me, better than I deserve at times.  He is the most unselfish and giving person I know and he is going to be an amazing father!  We have loved one another for 9 years and been married for 5 - I can honestly say that each year gets better than the one before.  I love being by his side and I can't wait for us to be a family!!   

Part of the reason we were so carefree and happy Friday was that our doctor's visit was GREAT!  Our baby is still thriving and we saw it very clearly this time!!!  It was five times bigger on Friday than it was just two weeks before!  It still looks like a little alien but we can tell it's just starting to resemble a baby now. :) The heart rate was right on target (167 bpm) and everything else measured exactly 8 weeks so we are right where we're supposed to be. :) 

I can't tell you how much better I feel seeing that little heart beating away again and having the doctor tell me everything is okay.  I still have this nagging voice inside telling me that something can still go wrong but I'm trying hard to ignore it and I really am worrying a lot less now than I have been.  I'm finally starting to feel that it's okay to let myself really believe this is happening and to finally get really excited.  We've been talking about names and nursery ideas and the more we do that, the more it feels real.  I'm still as sick as can be with nausea and throwing up and as weird as it sounds, it really has helped me feel more secure with things because I actually feel pregnant.  Not that I will complain when it eases up!  It's definitely not a pleasant way to feel day and night but it is oh so worth it!

We are hoping to go home next weekend and if not then, we'll see family the next weekend for my cousin's wedding.  We plan on sharing the news with my little niece Eve when we see her in person.  She is 6 years old and has been dying for me to have a baby so she will be super excited.  We are really looking forward to telling her and seeing her reaction!  I'll be just a couple of weeks away from being out of the first trimester at that point and even though we won't be totally out of the woods, it just feels right to include her.  Most of our families and close friends know now and just a few close coworkers.  We'll be ready to share with others after we've been able to see Eve in person and tell her.  We're pretty sure she'll spread the news for us in Greensboro anyway!

"Morning" Sickness and a Sad Goodbye

Silly me, I thought maybe I would be one of the lucky ones and get by without experiencing real morning sickness.  After all, my mom says she never had it with either of us.  And, even as late as the end of last week I was still just feeling really nauseous but not throwing up.  Well, this week it's been a different story.  And it's not just in the morning - it hits me off and on day and night.  People keep telling me it's a good sign so I'm definitely not complaining.  In fact, I take comfort in the feeling just praying it means that all is well with our little jelly bean. :)  We go this Friday for another ultrasound so they will make sure everything is still moving along according to schedule.  We can't wait!!!  I will be 8 weeks and our baby should be the size of  a grape - simply amazing that it has grown so much in just 2 weeks!  I'm feeling pretty good about everything, better every day, but hearing them say that the baby is measuring 8 weeks and everything still looks good will be a huge relief!  And to make the day even more special, we'll be celebrating our 5th Anniversary on Friday!!! We can't think of anything in the world that could compare to that as an annivesary gift. :)       

With all the baby excitement, we have also been dealing with the very sad loss of our sweet little dog, Macy.  I got her as a puppy 13 years ago back when I was a single, carefree college student.  She was my best friend and constant companion for my whole adult life.  Lewis and I met 9 years ago and she and I came as a package deal.  He grew to love her just as much as I did and we are both just heartbroken.  We know she had a long, happy life but our house feels so empty without her sweet little presence.  She loved us with all her heart and we were her whole little world.  She gave us so much joy and kept us laughing all the time.  I am so, so grateful that she passed away on her own and that it was on a Saturday when we could be with her.  We tried to get her to the vet but her little heart gave out on the way.  I was sitting in the backseat with her, petting her and telling her how much I loved her and she was looking up at me with her soft brown eyes when she took her last breath.  As hard as it was, I wouldn't trade that for anything. I am so grateful that I have the baby to focus on now and I think that's why God chose this timing to take her.  As empty and quiet as our house feels now, it won't for long. :)

Goodbye, our sweet little friend.  You were such a blessing in our lives.  Thank you for all the love and memories you gave us.  We miss you.

ANSWERED PRAYERS!!!

It's official, WE ARE PREGNANT!!! Our due date is December 3rd and we are just over the moon and feeling so very blessed! Once again, God has shown us that he's in control and that there are no limits to what he can work in our lives when we have faith! I must say about a hundred prayers of thanks every day and for every one, I also say a prayer of his protection over our little baby. :)

We've actually known since March 23rd that our IUI worked when we got a + home pregnancy test. It was confirmed at the doctor a few days later and they've been watching me very closely since. So far, everything has gone perfectly! My progesterone has been very high on its own and I haven't had to take anything to sustain the pregnancy because my body seems to be taking care of everything. :)

I am actually 6 weeks 1 day today. :) We've been a little cautious in telling too many people because we were just so worried about the chance of miscarrying again. But, then yesterday we went in for our first ultrasound and saw our little sweet pea for the first time with a very strong heart just beating away! It was the most amazing thing either of us has ever seen! How can we keep something so wonderful quiet??? We go back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound to make sure the baby is growing appropriately. If all is well then, the specialists will release me to my regular OB/GYN. I will probably have my first OB appointment when we are about 10 weeks.

As for how I'm feeling, I couldn't be better! I've been very tired and taking naps almost daily for the past week but I haven't had morning sickness at all yet. My doctor told me yesterday that the next couple of weeks are generally when it starts for most people so we'll see. The only other symptom I've had is really sore boobies - and they have already grown a little! Uh-oh! I'm a little scared!!

One of the best parts of this is seeing how excited our parents are. My parents were actually here visiting this week and stayed in town until we got home from our appointment yesterday so they could hear how it went. They were so sweet and both cried when they saw the pictures of the ultrasound. We understood completely because we both cried when we first saw it too! And this will be Lewis's parents' first grandchild so they are overjoyed! They are both so cute and ask about a million questions. I can't believe this is all really happening! Seeing that little heart flickering yesterday sure made it feel more real but it's still just amazing to me that our baby is growing - and thriving - inside me right now! :) We are still nervous because we are not out of the woods yet but we have chosen to focus on today and let God take care of tomorrow. He's already blessed us beyond belief and we know the best is yet to come!

Thank you all for your prayers and support throughout this process. People all over have supported us through prayer - everyone from family and friends to coworkers and friends of friends and even some sweet ladies I've met on message boards! We know without a doubt that prayer has played a huge role in making this happen. We can never thank you enough! Please keep praying for our little baby! We'll keep you updated!!!

Pictures of our sweet little pea:

So excited!

So much has happened since the last time I posted!  We had our first IUI yesterday!!!  We are cautiously optimistic since we know it can take a few attempts to get the timing right but I can't tell you how good it feels to get started!!!  The IUI itself was very quick and painless.  I am so happy Lewis got to be in there with me because it was a big moment for the two of us.  I wasn't sure how they would do that - if they would have him wait while they got me ready or if he could go on back with me.  When I asked the nurse, she said, "Well, you don't want to get pregnant without him do you?"  It made me laugh because she was so right!  Maybe we never imagined that we would need to conceive our babies in a cold sterile setting like that, but it was actually very sweet.  Lewis held my hand the whole time and even got a little choked up and had to hold back tears.  He said he started picturing what it will be like when he holds my hand when we see our little baby's heartbeat for the first time and when he's there with me during labor and delivery.  We felt so connected to one another.  It was a moment I hope I never forget. :)

Now, the waiting begins.  I go back in this Friday for another progesterone test to see if I still need to take the supplements.  I took my first round of Clomid this month and she said that sometimes, Clomid helps regulate your progesterone so there's a chance it will be normal this time.  The Clomid also hopefully helped me produce some good, strong eggs this month.  At my midcycle ultrasound, I had 3 good size follicles so hopefully, one of those produced a nice healthy egg and we timed the IUI right to "catch it"!  We won't know if it worked until the following Friday, March 26th.  I go in then for a blood pregnancy test.  I'm going to try my best to relax as much as possible over the next 2 weeks.  To help with that, I'm going to be staying off the fertility message boards and I'm going to try really hard not to over-think or over-analyze anything.  We are prepared to do this at least 3 times if necessary but we are praying we won't need to.  God has always been so good to us and I know this is in his hands.  This process is a real lesson is patience.  There is so much waiting involved and you really have to turn things over to your doctors and ultimately to God.  I know he has a great plan for us and part of that plan is for us to be parents.  We just have to know that it will happen in his timing and trust that.

The really great news is that none of the fertility tests they did on us showed anything major wrong for either of us. :)  Lewis's last SA was great- very high count and motility!  His morphology was a the lower end of normal but the doctors aren't concerned about that since they said his high numbers in other categories should make up for it.  The HSG showed that my uterus and fallopian tubes were normal and open so that was good.  The only test that revealed anything a little abnormal for me was the day 3 ultrasound (also called a baseline ultrasound) to check for antral follicles.  My left one looked okay but it looks like my right ovary may be a little polycystic, meaning it produces too many follicles every month which can cause that ovary not to produce the best eggs.  The condition is called PCOS and it can cause all sorts of other health problems.  Luckily, it appears that my case is very mild and other than gaining weight easily, I don't have any of the other symptoms.  The biggest thing is that I still ovulate on my own every month, some people with PCOS do not ovulate at all and have to take medications to force ovulation.  They said the fact that I ovulate on my own means my case should be highly treatable.  They immediately started me on a medication to help treat it and I will continue to take it every day until I get pregnant and maybe even beyond that.  I also have to cut way back on carbs since PCOS can lead to insulin resistance and I definitely want to prevent that if I can.  A great side effect of the medicine and the low carb diet is that I've already lost a little weight.  :)

Our families are so excited and they keep saying they just know this is going to be it for us.  We are both much more reserved because we want to be realistic in case we need to try more than once.  Even so, deep down, we are just so full of hope because this definitely feels like we're on the right track.  It's going to be a long two weeks! 

A tiny piece of the puzzle and now, more tests!

So, after more bloodwork last week, they finally found something...  My progesterone test came back a little low.  Not low enough to account for all of our trouble getting pregnant but it could be making it a little harder for fertilized eggs to implant and it could have also been a contributing factor to our miscarriage.  From what they said, having enough progesterone is very important for implantation and sustaining pregnancy because it thickens the lining of your uterus.  If the lining is too thin, implantation either doesn't happen or it doesn't happen correctly.  They had me start taking supplements immediately - that was Sunday - and I will take them the last two weeks of every cycle unless I get pregnant and then I'll probably take them the entire first trimester.  The supplements may not fix our problem for us but they do think it is an important element in creating the best possible environment for getting pregnant and staying pregnant.  As you can imagine, we are very excited that they found this - especially now, before we get pregnant again.  Now, the next step is for me to go in to have my Day 3 bloodowork and ultrasound done and I will probably do that this Thursday.  :)

Another exciting thing to mention is that Lewis saw a new urologist last week and he thinks that there is absolutely nothing for us to worry about as far as Lewis's fertility is concerned!!!  Soooo, that means we don't have to worry about those little antibodies after all.  Woohoo!  This doesn't mean we won't still need to try IUI to conceive - it just means that we have one less thing working against us.  :)  Even though the doctor saw no problem at all with the little swimmers, he did order a couple of new tests to see if they can pinpoint what else may be going on.  One of those is a CT scan Thursday morning to make sure there is no hernia or anything else physiological causing his pain.  So, once again, we'll be bonding over doctor's appointments on Thursday.  The story of our lives lately!  I'm definitely not complaining since I know that every test we have done just gets us one step closer to our goal of having a sweet little baby and what could be more worth it?! 

And we're on our way!

So, we've had some time for the information from our first fertility appointment to sink in and it definitely looks like we'll be going for our first IUI cycle next month!!!  We are so excited!!! 

To get things started, I went in last Wednesday for the first round of bloodwork and will go back on on Feb. 13th for a progesterone check.  Lewis is also scheduled for a urologist second opinion on the 15th so it looks like our Valentine's Day this year will be smack dab in the middle of fertlity appointments.  What could be more romantic, right??  In all honesty, we couldn't be happier.  It feels so good to be taking these steps and I actually do think it's romantic to be taking these steps together to have a baby.  I am so incredibly blessed to be sharing my life with my husband.  He is an amazing man and every day with him is exciting and fun.  We have been together for 9 years and we are more in love than ever.  Having a baby together is going to be an amazing extension of that love! :)

My job now?  To fill my mind with positive thoughts as we go forward.  I'm simply not going to allow myself to dwell on all the "what ifs".  I really do believe with all my heart that this is the answer for us.  To help my mind stay in a positive place, I'm going to stay focused on my husband, our marriage and our beautiful baby-to-be. Whatever we go through to make this happen will be worth it.  Of course, we know that it often takes more than one time for people to get pregnant with this method but there are also lots of people who get lucky the first time.  We believe we're going to be some of the lucky ones.  It really seems that since we have gotten pregnant on our own before, this procedure is going to give us the best circumstances for making it happen again.  Having an expert watching and making sure everything is proceeding as it should as we go through it all will be a big comfort for me.  I know we are in good hands.

Now, I'm off to exercise!  I don't know if I'll ever be one of those people who love to workout, but I have gotten to the place where I don't mind it so much.  I'm going to be hitting it harder now because I'd like to lose about 10 pounds in the next month as an extra step in kick-starting things. We're already eating right, I just need to kick the cardio part into high gear.  Off I go!

First Fertility Appointment

I finally called my OB/GYN a couple of weeks ago to see what our next step should be. I think I expected her to try to talk me into waiting a bit more but she was in complete agreement that the time had come for us to see a specialist. She gave me the names of two different places in Atlanta - RBA and ACRM - and I spent a ton of time reading everything I could about them. I talked to Lewis's sister, Sara, about the experience she and her husband Tim have had at RBA and she had nothing but good things to say. (They will be pursuing in-vitro fertilization sometime this year.) Since I still couldn't decide between the two practices, I decided to just go with the one that could see me first and ACRM called me last Friday and said they could see me on January 27th!! Much sooner than we expected! I was nervous because Lewis couldn't go with me since he's a teacher and it was conference week. They said it would be fine for me to come alone since the first time was just a consultation and we could fill out all of our paperwork ahead of time. I was also nervous because I had pretty much decided to go with RBA after talking to Sara about their experience there. But, the fact was that ACRM could see me sooner and we didn't want to wait.

I worried for nothing because the appointment couldn't have gone better! I absolutely LOVED my doctor! Her name is Dr. Robin Fogle and she was awesome! She's in her late thirties and very sweet and she really impressed me with how well she knew her stuff. She was very encouraging and very positive and I felt an instant connection to her. She also knows my OB/GYN very well and has worked with her on other cases so that's a huge plus. She started by asking me about a million questions and reviewing all my fertility charts and other records. She thinks I am definitely ovulating which is good. In fact, she didn't see anything right off that concerned her as far as my health is concerned. However, she said she thinks it's important for Lewis to see another urologist for a second opinion. Even though all his tests came back fine in April, she said that there's a chance antibodies have begun to attach to his little swimmers which is causing them to have a harder time fertilizing my eggs. There is no known way to test for that - it's more just a process of elimination. So, she's having me go through all the normal IF tests - bloodwork, ultrasounds, tubes checked,etc. - just to make sure that all is well on my end. Lewis will also have more tests run to make sure his count is as still as high as it was last time. If all that comes back okay- and she thinks it will - she is recommending that we move forward with IUI with Clomid. IUI - Intrauterin Insemination -is a procedure where they "wash" the sperm and take the very best, very strongest ones and then insert them in the top of your uterus so that they don't have as far to swim and many more reach the egg. This is a good route to try for people with unexplained infertility that have normal sperm counts and normal ovulation. She is recommending that I take Clomid because even though I'm ovulating, it's possible that the ovualtion isn't as strong as it could be and Clomid will help me produce bigger, stronger - and more - eggs. There is a slight increased risk of twins with this procedure but it's still only about 8%. I've thought about having twins all my life since my dad is an identicle twin so I'm okay with that 8% risk factor - even if I do end up with a Ronald and Donald! I was very relieved to hear that this practice does not like for anyone to have over two babies at a time so we dont' have to worry about an Octomom situation! (Thank goodness!) IUI is about $1500-$1700 per cycle - and insurance will proabably cover the ultrasounds and bloodwork in the testing phase so it may be less than that. So, we've decided that instead of the projects we have planned for the house, we're going to focus our resources on a baby. ;)

So, now I just have to get a bunch of screening bloodwork done one morning this week. Then, after I ovulate this month (which should be soon) they'll schedule me for a progesterone check the following week. After that, we'll wait on my period and then go forward with more testing and I'll start Clomid to get ready for our first IUI cycle that same month if all tests turn out okay. So, WE COULD BE TRYING OUR FIRST IUI ATTEMPT AS EARLY AS A MONTH FROM NOW!!! Simply amazing!! Of course, it all depends on test results - if something else comes up, they may have to address that first and postpone the IUI to the following month.

We are super excited but also pretty nervous. They did say that they will try IUI 3 times and then they usually suggest moving on to IVF at that point. My doctor said she'd really be shocked if we had to go to IVF but there is that possibility. I guess we're just nervous about investing money into IUI when there's a chance we'll ultimately need IVF and that money could go for that. BUT, we are going to just believe for now that this will work for us! We both feel really good about it - in fact, for the first time since the miscarriage, I feel really excited about having a baby. I think I've been too scared to think about it too much since then. I left the appointment feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It feels so good to finally have someone as focused on getting us pregnant as we are. I love my OB/GYN but she just kept saying to keep trying since we've gotten pregnant before on our own. That would be fine if we hadn't already been trying so long before. Now, I feel like we've moved on to the next phase - the part where we finally get a baby!

As excited as I am, I'm also scared to let myself get too excited. I'm trying to stay positive without getting my hopes up too high because I'm scared of being disappointed. That's a hard balance to strike. However, Lewis's sister, Sara, made the prediction over the holidays that 2010 is going to be "The Year for Babies" in the LaRosa family and I have to say, I believe that she's absolutely right! Even though their situation is different from ours and they know that IVF is their only option, they are saving for it to happen this year and I know they are going to have good results when they try. And now I know we have a plan to make it happen for us soon, too! I have faith that God led me to this place and this path and that this is exactly what we're supposed to be doing. I'm just nervous. So please, please keep praying for us. I know we're about to embark on an amazing journey and we need prayers that all goes smoothly.